Public Enemies REVIEW

******NO SPOILERS******

OK. So I'm fresh out of the cinema, it's nearly 2.00am, so cut me some slack!

I've just sat through 2 hours and 20 minutes of a film which I cannot decide upon.

Let me start by saying that the film's trailer is somewhat misleading...It shows a kind of edgy-sophisticated-action-biopic. And it turns out to be a pretty straight forward Tom and Jerry movie with little emphasis on excitement. It leans to more of a character study of this John Dillinger fellow (who apparently was quite a big deal back in the day!).

I personally had no pre-conceived notion of what John Dillinger was like as a character, and Johnny Depp did little in this movie to make him memorable. And messa no like talky bad bout Johnny. And he wasn't 'bad' in the slightest...he was just kind of boring...the last third of the film however we finally see some emotion come from him and I did in fact start to empathize with this fellow.

The last third of the film was where this film gains its merit. The pace quickens. The plot thickens. And we some bullets stricken- in alot of mother fluffers.

All the positives in in this film were in this last section unfortunately, and up until this point there does appear to be quite alot of inconsistencies. Namely:

1. The lighting and colour tones do appear to change quite alot through out individual scenes.

2. The voice recording was, well....you might as well get a degree in lip reading before attempting to understand half the dialogue. (This could however be due to a bad sound system in the cinema, I'll let you know!...but it does sound to me as if the audio was rushed)

3. Christian Bale convincing alot of people he can act.

4. The dreaded shaky camera pokes it dicked head up in the first 30mins...then seems to disappear.

The last third is a great pay off and does make the bland start easier to cope with. The leading lady, one Marion Cotillard, gives a tremendous performance. And she's fit.

I wouldn't recommend a cinema trip for everyone. But I don't see anybody hating this film either. I believe a lot of people will end up watching this eventually so you might as well see it just for talk fuel.

If like me you saw the trailer and thought "That looks tight"...or something less gay than that. Then go to your local screen and watch the damn thing. It's not torture. It's not gold. It's Johnny Depp with wicked facial hair and loud Tommy Guns.

All in all

*7.6 WEBSTARS*

Transformers II Revenge of the Fallen REVIEW

****NO SPOILERS****

A wise old Chinese man once stated "Sequels always suck more balls than it's predecessor". The same wise old Chinese man also stated that "Exceptions there are, to every rule!".

Transformers II is one of these great exceptions...or should I say 'excepticons'...A movie that (In my very humble opinion) stands on par with its predecessor.

Story wise this film more engaging than I previously thought it would be. The screenplay isn't going to win any awards but holds a logic in an other wise illogical scenario (That of giant robot wars).

Nobody is going into this movie thinking they are gonna get a thought provoking piece of cinema. You want explosions and some serious robot whoop ass! It of course delivers this in heaps, yet the narrative was surprisingly gripping too. Pieces of the puzzle have a nice paced drip feed to the audience...for just when the thoughts of "Come on now" creep into your head your given another back story or objective for the protagonists to pursue.

Positive so far yes? Well I have no shame stating I really enjoyed this movie, but as with everything on this subjective planet, it was of course flawed. Here's a list of said flaws. A nice break from paragraphs yes?

1. The Witwicky parents get FAR to much screen time. The Mother isn't funny and I wouldn't have cared if she got Decepte-raped.

2. I do not understand why Autobot's seem to take on the characteristics and voices of complete cock brains. How many 'from da hood' robots do we need in a Transformers movie? One...and Michael Bay killed Jazz off last time around. I means seriously bordering of racism in some parts...

3. Way to many attempts at cheap laughs, Wheelie (the small Decepticon turned Autobot RC car thing) humping Megan Fox's leg is very unrealistic. It totally would have bent her over.

4. Wheelie disappeared at the end of the movie with no explanation.

5. Final battle in the desert seemed way to familiar to a scene from the first film.

These are all the bad things I can list off of the top of my head from one screening.

It's bold, noisy, exciting, cheesy, reckless yet brilliant. And a great blend of Sci-Fi intertwined through out. If you loved the first, you'll love this all the same. Only Michael Bay can pull off a movie like this (You can decide if that's a good or bad thing!) and his technical mastery of filming shit that isn't there is a marvel for all film makers to behold. It is rather long however...and those not turned on by amazing special effects may find the run time a little lengthy.

All in all its getting a solid:

*7.4 WEBSTARS*

X-Men Origins: Wolverine REVIEW

*************************SPOILERS*******************************

OK, so I've seen this movie twice at the cinema now...(no I'm not one of you complete bell-ends that watched the unfinished version before it's release).

As you may have a heard this film is getting mixed reviews. And by mixed reviews I do of course mean alot of people be hating it. But I want you all to hear the "Un-Critic" tell you exactly what WOLVERINE holds in store for your feeble filmic eyes...

So lets start with narrative. It's about as honest to the comic book origins of Wolverine as Nixon was about Watergate. And this seems to be something FOX loves to do...they knew the majority of there audience know those comic books inside out, but instead of pleasing them with a good honest screen interpretation they piss all over their grandparents. Here's a small list of shit they changed:

1. Sabretooth is NOT Wolverine's brother
2. Deadpool CANNOT shoot lasers out of eyes
3. Deadpool CANNOT push blades out of his arms
4. Deadpool DOES NOT have and Adamantium skeleton
5. Deadpool CANNOT teleport...(unless he has Weasels device of course)
6. Wolverine did NOT lose his memory's because of ADAMANTIUM FUCKING BULLETS.
7. Deadpool SHOULD NOT have had his mouth sewn shut.
8. Gambit DOES NOT look like a girl.
9. Professor X SHOULD NOT look like a child molester

As one can see many of the changes come from things outside of Wolverines character. But a film that boasts 5 beloved comic heroes on its poster should NOT take liberties with these characters backgrounds. This is another negative, the poster shows us Cyclops...Emma Frost...Deadpool....Gambit...all of whom have a combined screen time of 2.9 seconds. Clearly a clever marketing ploy here by FOX...but still sneaky none the less.

An audience that is not informed about the actual origins of Wolvy' will of course look through these things, and what do they see? They see a pretty decent action movie, great set pieces and Hugh Jackman looking like a poster boy for Promax.

Besides a few incredibly cheesy scenes the performances in WOLVERINE are pretty solid. Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool is GENIUS casting, and the few lines he's given are delivered with the perfect 'flair'. Danny Huston as William Stryker is great up until he gets strangled by Wolverine...which makes him sound as if he's got cock stuffed down his throat.

The "twist" at the end of the movie, albeit completely false, is unexpected and does please!

A movie with many flaws yes...but no matter how bad the shitty CGI claws look, how many roars to the sky Logan belts out or how many fucked up side plots there are the film DOES entertain. And I would recommend a cinema trip for people looking for an easy watch...

All in all this film gets:

*6.8 WEBSTARS*